The Prodigal Son

This week has gone by so FAST!!  I only have 3 weeks left in the MTC!  Then I'm in CHINA!!  We have a new Cantonese District coming in this week and a whole Mandarin District leaving, so that’s sad. But we're excited to meet this new group of missionaries that will be speaking Cantonese!

I don't know why, but this week the story of the Prodigal Son has been on my mind a lot.  It was also brought up in many lessons throughout the week. We focused a lot on repentance this week in classes and devotionals. It was really humbling. I watching an amazing devotional Elder Bednar gave called  “One by One.”

It is such a tender mercy that the Lord knows each of us One by One. I think the reason God kept reminding me of the Prodigal Son throughout the week was to prepare me for this devotional by Elder Bednar. First I want to review the story with you:

Luke 15: 11-24

11 And he said, A certain man had two sons:

12 And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.

13 And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

14 And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

15 And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

16 And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

17 And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

21 And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:

23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:

24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

This story is about a one. Just one person. The Prodigal Son repenting and coming unto Christ. It says that heaven rejoiced for the one soul that repented and came unto Christ.

This week as I've thought a lot about repentance, a very personal story has hit me hard that I want to share. I didn’t think It would be something I would ever share with a lot of people, but it’s very close to my heart and It changed the way I view repentance.

So the day before I went into the temple I had a really humbling experience with one of my  very close friends, Ashlynn. I was sitting in my bed and she was sitting across from me in her bed. All of  the sudden this dark heavy 'low of all lows' feeling overcame me. I started to cry. I told Ash that I wasn’t sure I was worthy to go into the temple. As memories and feelings of mistakes I had made and times I had fallen short washed over me, I cried harder and harder. Ash just sat there and held me. Then she promised me that everything was going to be okay.

That next day when I entered the temple, these feelings of guilt and inadequacy would leave me,  But in that moment I couldn’t let go and forgive myself.   I couldn’t seem to escape the darkness and despair I was feeling.  Lovingly Ash just sat there, comforting me and confirming that I was worth.   I had utilized the gift of repentance many times in my life, and it was time to let go, just as Christ promises, "I will remember your sins no more." So finally I went to bed.

When I entered the temple the next day that familiar spirit of the temple, that I love and had felt before, overcame me. But I was still doubting. Then I went into initiatory. You are promised and blessed with many amazing things during initiatory. I remember walking out of my initiatory knowing with all surety that God had forgiven me and there was no reason to hold on to anything I had already repented of.

Repentance and forgiveness are incredible gifts given to us as the ultimate expression of love from our Savior and Heavenly Father.  There is so much power in these two principles, more than I think we can ever comprehend in this life!  I know without a shadow of a doubt it is a real power. I am so anxious to get the Hong Kong and have the opportunity to invite people to repent!   It is one of the GREATEST gifts God gives us.

I'm so grateful to be serving a mission. I know it's where I need to be. I love this gospel  and its simplicity. I love the blessing we are promised if we keep our promises with God.  I love the example of Jesus Christ that we are so blessed to look up to. I pray that each of you will kneel down this week and offer a prayer of thanks to God for knowing each of us one by one and giving us the opportunity to return to Him one by one. He loves us more than we will ever comprehend!

Ngoh gom gong, yeh sou gei duk ge mihng, A-muhn (:

(One other quick cool experience and challenge if you're interested . . . I was challenged at the beginning of the week to pray to God and ask him what he wants me to pray about and ask for in my prayers.  He knows you better than anyone and He knows what we need. So if you pray and ask for Him to tell you what you need, He WILL and you will receive blessing as you pray to know His will.  It has changed my week! )

Love you all!!

Love Sister Webb

***This is Julie . . . I had an incredible exchange of text messages with Sister Tuttle, Amanda's Branch President's wife, on Sunday.  She sent the pictures below.  We both agreed that she was there at precisely the moment Amanda needed her the most . . . that Sunday afternoon, February 5th, when Amanda needed someone to listen, hug her, and just be there for her.  I affectionately call her Amanda's MTC MOM***

This is picture of them on a walk to the temple Sunday, February 5th.  Sister Tuttle said, "I really love Amanda.  I feel certain that God gave us this moment in time together."

This was a picture yesterday of them taking a temple walk.  Sister Tuttle said, "Amanda is a great missionary!  She has really found her smile!  My husband and I have sent 3 sons and 1 daughter on missions and I know that Heavenly Father recognizes our sacrifice and blesses us for it!"

Amanda's Zone

Me trying to memorize The First Vision in Canto!

Nightime . . . 

 . . . and the Sisters

Lice, Love & Miracles

Yes, we have lice!

The lice story: So our first week at the MTC Sister Richards, one of the girls in our district, said she had just recently had lice. She was certain though, everything was gone and they had cleaned her out completely. BUT just to be sure, none of us used her stuff. Anyway forward to this week. Thursday, Sister Richards pulled all us girls aside and told us she found a louse on her shirt that day. So she went to the clinic to get checked out and they didn't see anything, but they confirmed that what was on her shirt was a louse. So we started the moving out process, repacking all our stuff slowly. (Today we're really going at it, ALL our clothes are either in the dry cleaners or the wash machines at this very moment...) Anyway, this was starting to take a toll on Sister Richards.  She was feeling so bad, even though we were all showing support and love. She just felt so gross and bad about everything.

THEN... Yesterday, my companion confessed to me! ((side note: we have two girls from Philippines in our district.  My companion, Sister Milan, and Sister Bannagao.  Sister Milan speaks and understands English fluently, Sister Bannagao, does not.)) So Sister Bannagao had told Sister Milan THREE WEEKS AGO that she had REALLY bad lice. She had come to the MTC with it. But she was too embarrassed to tell anyone. So the lice in Philippines are big and black, whereas here, they're small and match the color of your hair. And Sister Richards found a big black one. SOOOO now comes the cool part. Sister Bannagao was out of the room and the rest of us were in there, and Sister Milan FINALLY told everyone else. BUT we made a deal we wouldn't tell sister Bannagao we knew about this. So, Sister Richards lovingly took the blame. But that's not the only amazing thing. Sister Richards had no idea why she had lice 3 months ago. And not just that, she had it for 2 months straight!  She knew every possible way to get rid of lice and was a pro at it. So much so she called it her "living hell". But she came to realize that she had to go through it for the sake of Sister Bannagao. Had one of Sister Bannagao’s lice not dropped on Sister Richard's dress, we could have never known we had lice in the room, and Sister Bannagao would have never been treated. God works in mysterious ways. We all went and got checked this afternoon and MIRACULOUSLY, none of us have lice except Sister Bannagao!  We all spent about 4 hours picking nits out of her hair.  I get itchy talking about it so let's move on . . . 

So many amazing things this week:

My Dad. Me and my companion were teaching an investigator about the Atonement, repentance and baptism and asked him to be baptized. He said yes (: Then I felt prompted to talk about my baptism, even though I don't remember much about it. Suddenly a warm feeling came to me and I was reminded of my Dad's arms. When I came out of the water, the first thing I remember were my Dad's arms around me. And I couldn't help but share that I know that's what it will be like the second we enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Our Heavenly Father will be there, waiting to embrace us. It brings tears to my eyes as I ponder the importance of a Father. Not only does a Father provide, love, care for, and comfort us. A Father gives us life. If you're a Father reading this, Thank You for everything you valiant men stand for as Fathers. I imagine it would be an honor to stand in a good Father's shoes. I personally know there is no way I will ever be able to show my gratitude fully for everything my Father has given me. A Father's love is indescribable as is our Father in Heaven's, and I CANNOT wait to return to Him one day and feel his embrace speaking unspoken words of love. I love you Dad!

Two songs really stuck out to me this week. One “Waiting For Me" by Julie Yardly. It was very touching and it actually changed my whole mood this last Tuesday, so thank you Julie Yardly.  The lyrics read:

Here I am again

Seems like I'm standing still

Knowing that it's finally time to start

There have been some things

Keeping me from moving forward

I can feel them holding back my heart

So I will face my fears I'll give up my pride

The choice is mine, that's how it needs to be

Trusting in Your love I feel a change inside, and I can see

You were just waiting for me

You've helped me believe

That I can move this mountain

That I can reach the other side

This is what I want

And the road, it won't be easy

But with you there, I know it's worth the price

So I will face my fears

I'll give up my pride

The choice is mine, that's how it needs to be

Trusting in Your love I feel a change inside, and I can see

You were just waiting for me

You never gave up, you've always been there

Patiently waiting for me

So I will face my fears I'll give up my pride

The choice is mine, that's how it needs to be

Trusting in Your love I feel a change inside, and I can see

You were just waiting for me

Another song that had a big impact on me this week and is kind of a follow-up from last week, and came from a good friend. It's by Davis Handley and it's called "It's Not About You".  If you have time, these two songs have touched me this week and may touch some of you (:

Now I want to thank Mothers. As I've reflected this week, Mothers have such an honorable role. Father's do too, but my mind has been focused on Mothers for some reason.  A Mother's mission to me is the greatest of all. Mothers raise their children, they teach them through example and love (many take this for granted).  A Mother's missionary work within the home is mind blowing. When a mother brings a soul to this earth, she becomes not only a mother, but a missionary. She will teach correct principles like how to love unconditionally, how to be diligent, patient, obedient, and the importance of the Gospel in our lives. I will never be able to find the words to thank my Mother for her testimony and unconditional love for me. Mothers have the most HONORABLE call in the world. I hope that Mothers will be able to see the fruits of their labors in their children because I know I wouldn't be where I am today without the influence of my Mother.  Thank you for everything you Mothers do for us.

This week we had the opportunity to hear from Elder Ballard!  One of the most profound things he said in my opinion was this:   "I do not believe there is anything more important in our report to the Lord than to tell Him of our best attempt to bring back souls to Him."  This was profound to me because it really makes missionary work, in my eyes, all that more important. When we return to Heaven, God will care about many things we did, but he will be MOST interested in the work we did to bring souls back to Him. He also said, “If you can get down on your knees and pray to God saying, ‘I have done my best today’, then you are a successful missionary.”  This is so HOPEFUL to me!

I am SO grateful for this amazing opportunity I have to serve a mission.  I have come to really love the MTC. There is a very special spirit about it. I am surrounded by servants of the Lord, called by Him, to bring souls unto Him.  I have never been so sure in my life that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I am so grateful for Christ's Atonement as I'm slowly realizing how real and personal it is for each one of us. Also, I had a very personal experience this week, and can say that I know without even a fraction of a doubt, that everything about the Restoration, the coming forth of the Book of Mormon, and the beloved prophet Joseph Smith is true. I love this gospel, and I can't wait to make it a part of more lives!

Sorry for the narrative this week (:

Love you all

Love Sister Webb

Where we're all from!

Where we're all going!

"NOT" ME

This week has been beautiful!  Just BEAUTIFUL!

We were posed a question on Tuesday by our teacher. . . " Who is the most important person in the world today?" He told us there is only one correct answer and only one correct person. We were to study and think about it all week and make a list on the board, and on Friday, On Hing Diah (our teacher) would tell us what the answer was. So our district made a list on the board... "Yoda, On Hing Diah, God, Pooh Bear, Me, Thomas S. Monson, Master Chifu.." all sorts of things. On Friday On Hing Diah went around the class asking us who we thought it was. He writes on the board, "ME".  Then he turns to us, raises an eyebrow, turns back to the board and puts a HUGE "NOT" before the me.  It read, "NOT ME."

Last week I sent out a pretty depressing letter. It had been a couple of rough weeks.  I just need to say THANK YOU for your kind and loving responses I got from that letter!  I have felt so loved this week. SO LOVED! Thank you for the stories, the hope and everything else you sent to encourage and uplift me! You all made me realize one VERY important thing!

These next 17 months are NOT about ME. And the second I start to loose focus on God and my investigators and my companion and the people around me, is when I start to loose focus on my purpose. I was told in many of the letters I received this week that when I was starting to miss home, or friends, or family, to turn to the scriptures. So I have been! EVERY time I think of home and get that 'heart-falling-into-your-stomach'-feeling, I sing a hymn, or go through the articles of faith, or recite D&C 4, or recite my purpose as a missionary, or the First Vision (keep in mind I now only know some of these in Cantonese, so I do have a hard time understanding it as I say it..) but it's scripture. And It turns my thoughts away from myself, towards my investigators, and to my companion. I didn't come here to fail.  Honestly, I'm not sure I really knew what I came to the MTC to learn, but Boy Oh Boy am I grateful for the MTC. It has changed me in so many ways. . . and I still have 5 FULL WEEKS! YAY!!  

Elder Holland said, "The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine. We have three members of the Godhead—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost—helping us because of the covenants we have made."  My climb seems uphill these last few weeks, but I feel comfort that I'm on the right path and I'm receiving a lot of divine help!

I want to challenge all of you who read this to do something. If life is going down hill or you just want to cry, turn to the scriptures, turn to God, and turn to service. I can testify that if you do this, you will feel a difference. This gift of the Holy Ghost that was promised to all of us at baptism will surround us.  I have felt overcome with peace, hope and love this week!

Our district needed a bit of a refocus. We were chastised in an honest way by our teachers, and it humbled us.  They sat us down and said, "When we first met this group of missionaries, we were blown away by your power and strong spirits!  Lately as we have been walking in, we feel this gloom, like the Spirit is still here, but we've pushed Him to the corner of the room." Ouch!

Then they said, "Now, think about this . . .You are called to serve on the front lines of the greatest work on earth. You are called to represent the Lord in EVERYTHING you do. You NEED the spirit with you at all times!"  It made me a little sick inside to visualize shoving the Spirit into the corner of the classroom.  SO, we have recommitted ourselves to focus and work toward what we have been called to do!  I think this will be a better week.

Now back to 'Not me.' I realized this week how amazing and beautiful the Lord is. He is selfless, humble, kind, gentle, watchful, careful, and all-knowing. God is changing my life one minute at a time. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to go on a mission. I am even more grateful that this mission isn't about me. It is so much easier to focus on other people than on yourself.

Thank you again for all the encouragement this week. Here's another helpful quote for me from Elder Bednar: "Sometimes it's like walking into a fog. You can only see just far enough ahead of you to take a few steps, having faith that the further you go, the more you'll see."   I can testify this is so true when it comes to having faith. But if you never take that step into the fog, you'll never get anywhere. I promise the Lord is always there, even on really foggy days where you are to scared to take the next step. He will hold your hand through it all.  (Just make sure you eventually take that step..I don't think Christ wouldn't like sitting there for days holding your hand in the fog. . . it seems a tad selfish to me . . .but I honestly shouldn't be giving advice about the fog because two weeks ago when I saw it rolling in, I BOOKED IT THE OTHER WAY!!)  You can do better than me!! Think outside of yourselves this week and notice how evident the Lord is in every single persons life. And remember, when we focus on God and others, we find so much more peace and fulfillment that when we are selfish and self-absorbed!

Love you all!!

Have a beautiful week!

Love Sister Webb

Our District

Amanda sent this and I couldn't stop laughing!  For anyone who knows Amanda well, she can fall asleep ANYWHERE in just about ANY position!!

Our zone of Sisters

Hope

This week has been really hard.

I cried a lot this week and had a hard time feeling like there was going to be any hope. Yesterday I cried for about 4 hours straight. I'm realizing I didn't fully understand how hard it is to leave on a mission.  There is no way I could do this without the Atonement of Jesus Christ!  As hard as it's been . . . I would not give it back for anything and I'll tell you why below.

The week started out fast!  Then the weekend hit and it felt like a lifetime!  Every minute felt like an hour and every hour felt like a week! I think I understand why now . . . I need to be more DILIGENT in all I do!  I've been on the roller coaster of emotions once again.  It's amazing the powerful feelings that can occur - sometimes all in one day!  I've felt pain, hurt, sadness, joy, pity, loss, patience, humility, sleepiness, hopelessness, courage, and hope.

So in a nut shell, I'm pretty wrung out emotionally!

Sunday was my hardest day. I started crying at about 11am, just little pools in my eyes. Then our branch president's wife came up and hugged me, and Niagra Falls POURED out of me.  Goodness! I had been praying all week for someone to talk to. Just to talk to. The second she noticed how hard I was crying, she asked if I wanted to talk. I had to say yes, this is what I had been praying and fasting for. We stepped inside a private room and she just held me. She hugged me till I stopped shaking, and kissed my wet cheek with so much love. Then we talked. I have not felt more peace on my mission than in that moment. We talked about some very personal things, but she shared her testimony with me multiple times in that little encounter. I am so grateful that she was there to listen and love me!  I'm fasting and praying that this week will be much easier emotionally.

As missionaries we have to remember to turn to God in gratitude for letting us on this roller coaster ride. We are serving on the front lines of the greatest work in the world.  He will help us appreciate the times that are up AND the times that are down.

For those who are interested, the language is coming along! I know more Cantonese in these 3 weeks than the Mandarin I've learned over 6 years! So ya, God is real and so is the gift of tongues.

I have learned so much as I've had to rely on the Lord's Atonement. Every second of Every day. That does not mean He is going to make you forget home, or the people that made up another home in your heart. It doesn't mean all your hardships will just disappear. To struggle is an essential part of God's plan. The pain I've felt this week has taught me that God is there. . . always hearing the prayers in our hearts, and always listening to the thoughts in our minds. I can promise that God is with you too.

Yes, this will be a long 18 months, But OH MY HECK, it will be worth it!! And that has never been confirmed to me more fully than this week. Even though I've sat here being honest about my droopy week, I can still promise God was holding me. He really was!  I had the feeling that it was just hard for Him too because He was crying for me and with me. So me and God had a really personal week as He got to watch me wrestle with the "natural woman" inside me.  However, I got to watch Him pick me up and just cry with me.

He will never leave us alone. He will never EVER ignore our prayers, thoughts, or pains. I love Him so much and I will serve with all my heart, might, mind and strength . . .  leaving all personal affairs behind and putting on the whole armor of God to love, convert and baptize His people. I am on His time, and He will direct me, as He directs all of us! Don't EVER even think about doubting God. The second you do, you WILL sink. I love this gospel and I am so grateful for Christ's Atonement and the peace, comfort, hope, and love it brings me.

Anyway, if ANYONE has been in my EXACT shoes- in the MTC, for 9 plus weeks and struggling with pretty much everything they thought they weren't going to struggle with- Please please email or dear elder me and let me know how you did it . . . because this is hard!  I really want to hear from anyone who knows how I'm feeling and can give me tips on getting through it the best way possible!

My address at the MTC is:

Sister Amanda Webb

MAR21 CHN-HK

2005 N 900 E Unit 28

Provo, UT   84602

OR you can get on dearelder.com.  Choose "write a letter" and then choose "Provo MTC - free" for the mission.  It is a free service!   If you write an email before noon, they print it out and hand deliver it to us that evening!  My info is Sister Amanda Webb, Unit #28, Estimated Departure Date - March 21.

Thank you for all your prayers, love and letters

I'm praying for all of you and I love you!

Love Sister Webb

I ran into another Eagle Mountain friend!  Love these girls!